Her: So why do you want the police?
Me: There is someone outside my window! He's been walking around the house, stopping at each window!
Her (bored): Is it a male or female.
Me: Male. I heard him clear his throat.
Her: So you haven't actually seen this person?
Me: No! And I'm not going to go closer to the window to get a look!
Her: Ok, fine, I'm sending a car.
When the police came they said they'd found a guy loitering in the area and could I identify him? No, not from just hearing his footsteps and throat clearing! Then they asked me other questions accusingly: Was I alone? Did I actually live alone!? Eventually, they carted him off and gave him a warning, and let him go, and I gibbered for a bit and then called greenblackevil (who was the person most likely to be still awake that I knew in Chicago) and gibbered at him over the phone until it got light enough to fall asleep again.
A couple of days late, I got mugged. I've been tutoring people for the GRE on the side, and I usually go to their neighbourhood and we meet in a Starbucks or something. Anyway, I did that on Monday morning and the girl paid me, and I had an envelope full of money from these tutoring sessions that I was going to deposit in the bank on the way back. So I was walking along, heading for the El station, when a random black guy stepped out of an alleyway in front of me and said "Give me your bag." I was this close to just ignoring him and walking past, when I saw that he actually had a gun. So, of course I handed him my bag, and hoped that somebody would happen along soon (this is actually a really safe uptown neighbourhood, right near Andersonville, and it was about 11:30 am!) He sort of ripped open the bag, and the first thing that came out was the unsealed envelope with all the $20s in it, and he didn't even bother to search any further for wallet or cell phone etc -- just grabbed the envelope, tossed the bag aside, and ran. Which is very good because my keys are attached to the wallet and I'd have had the devil of a time getting back into my house with my roommate gone and me obsessively locking every window.... Anyway, I called the police, again, and gave them a description and they were very professional and reassuring, and basically said to not expect to see the money again, though if they ever catch him, they might want me to identify him, and then I went home and gibbered again on the phone various people. I also refused to be alone at night until V, my roommate, returned. And now V is back, and I am going to spend the weekend in Galesburg with friends, to recuperate from the highly focused crime wave that seems to be following me around.